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« Kuliah Subuh:Perjalanan Rabbani | Main | Lunch at NZ Restaurant, Melawati »

Sunday, June 19, 2005


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a'kum wbt...


Abedib: Happy Father's Day ! May you have a wonderful Fathering Sunday... :)

Abedib; Happy Father's Day semoga terus menjalankan amanah dengan sempurna.

Terima kasih Sri Diah.Ini tugas dan amanah yg berpanjangan sehingga akhir hayat.Beban menjalankan amanah dengan sempurna amat demanding dan memerlu kesabaran.

thanks for the msg, really appreciate it.


I got an SMS greeting from my daughter. I was away, so there's no way of getting together and makan-makan. The kind words were so soothing and I replied something like this;

'Being a father is a responsibility and amanah. Sometimes we have to be harsh to be kind. If appreciated, there's no word to describe the feeling'

Sometimes I lament at the `unrewarding' task of being a father. A mother is much adored and celebrated. Songs and poems we're made regarding a mother's sacrifice and what not; Its true, and were not against it a single bit. If the children showed respect and love to the mother, we the fathers are so happy..... shows we have done our duty to educate them to be good.... Duty, always duty. That's a father's driving force.

An elderly mother is adored and surrounded by the grands. Each will take her hand and persuade to stay at so and so's place. Sons and daughters will seek her help to look after the grandchildren. But a father..... he is slowly disregarded and spend his time at kedai kopi; championing certain topics of debate as if it matters so much when actually all he needed is some attention from the children and grands that is non existant....or just made cursorily out of `adat' or responsibility.

A father's worth is soon forgotten after the children manage to stand on their own feet. And he's so proud of them if they had made it in the world. He was king of the house when he provided for the family. Everyone need seek his permission for anything, especially if it concerns money and it normally does in this world; everything have a price. Soon that passes and he slowly realises that his words are no longer the law in his household, one by one his laws and boundary is broken and his grip slowly relinquish. He's no longer king.....

The pride have grown and the lion king is soon to be displaced. Either he bowed down gracefully or be pulled down unceremoniously. So he slowly withdraw and find solace at Kedai Kopi where he's needed as long as he can pay for the coffee. We see this everywhere. One who was so busy, or proud, never have time to linger at Kedai Kopi in the end attained lifetime membership.

That's what being a father is all about..... The unsung hero.... The discarded king ..... The forgotten provider.... while the mother was being surrounded by the grandchildren and respected.

A Father's Day made me realise that a father is all about sacrifice and we do it so willingly, it's in our bone; the drive to provide as long as we are needed. When the need is gone, we're gone too..........

I share your views aboung "Being a father..".I think sometimes we have to tell this matter to our children.It is not we wanted to be grateful and respect us,but at least they know our role and responsibilities.Later on they are going to be fathers and mothers,anyway.

Here is the link to Gukita's blog:

About being a father

Blog: A Ripple In The Ocean
Post: Father's Day


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