Last Saturday night, I sponsored a satey and teh tarik session for my schoolmates to discuss the recent general election using a methodology callled Deep Conversation.Thank you Dr KN for the photo above.
Deep conversation involves deep listening and deep thinking.A topic is pre-selected to allow participants to think and do research on the subject matter-based on data, facts and assumptions. Everyone is allowed to talk for a few minutes without any interference from any participants.While a person is talking, the others must put his/her personal views aside and listen deeply to the speaker and try to undertand what the speaker is talking and the reasons for his/her views.Listening is given equal or more emphasis as talking.
When all participants have spoken, the moderator will summarise the main points and ask around the table for anyone who wish to give his views.If he disagrees with someone's view, his job to offer the alternative and give the reasons why.The process is to assess our own views vis a vis others' views and opinions.
The objective is not to impose one's opinion on others but more to re-examine one's personal views against facts,opinions and assumptions.The final goal is to seek the truths!
PS:"You don't learn when you're talking."
—Watts Wacker, CEO, FirstMatter
Note: The process is adopted from an article entitled The Power of Talk by Margaret J. Wheatley published in a magazine called Utne Reader,August,2002
Aiii.. sedap nampak nampak satay tu Abedib... still in Pandan area Abedib?
I suspect it takes quite an effort to listen to everyone, one person at a time, especially among old buddies, for your Deep Conversation sessions (and with the delicious smell of satay in the background).
What happens to a lot of people (myself included) in that sort of situation is to drift away from the table or to start having deep conversation with inner self rather than listening. I think the ability to listen and internalise without judging or concluding while others are presenting their views is itself a skill that needs to be learned and practiced (much like khusyuk in solat). The hardest challenge for me is to feel relaxed and have a real peace of mind.
Any useful and shareable conclusion to the Deep Conversation session? Or the truth is out there.
Posted by: Razin | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 01:16 AM
Wow! What a brilliant session!
I suspect it would take a great deal of self discipline to be in such discussion coz most of the time we fall into the abyss of anger and emotions, myself especially.
Well done to the sponsor!!!
Posted by: atok | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 06:38 AM
Most people want to know the truth,but many are beating around the bush.If we ask the wrong questions,we will get the wrong answers.The art is therefore to have the ability to ask the right questions.
Not many people dared to take the journey to seek truths.The travellers will be tested along the way and the truths hurt.
Posted by: Adib | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 08:45 AM
did you record (taped, took notes) the entire session?
Posted by: haxa | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 09:26 AM
Haxa,
I didnot tape but as usual I took notes.
Posted by: Adib | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 09:36 AM
They say the reason why we are given two ears and one mouth so that we could listen more than we talk.
Posted by: Honeytar | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 10:26 AM
I've been through a discussion like this. I'm quite sure it was not called Deep Conversation then. Not really important though.
But one thing I can still remember is the conversation was very effective. I agree with Atok, Syukran to the sponsors (for more than satay!)
Er, next time nak open table, don't forget to invite me lah, Pak Adib! :)
Posted by: Paksu | Wednesday, March 31, 2004 at 07:13 PM
Heyya Pak Adib!
This is a great exercise in listening. I had a similar exercise in college for my American Lit classes. My teacher called it "Suspending your belief system" as we read other people's experiences. I think it's great because we are not clouded by our personal biases in learning of other people's lives.
Posted by: anis | Thursday, April 01, 2004 at 11:24 PM
Thanks Anis for sharing your experience with us.Did you observe that sometimes,we can't wait to talk before someone has finished talking? I have seen more than two persons were talking at the same time in a group.Who is listening??
It is easier to talk than to listen!
In general, many people hear but a few are listening?How could thenwe learn from others!
Posted by: Adib | Friday, April 02, 2004 at 05:27 AM
Pak Adib, I have to confess, that at times, I don't listen (grins sheepishly)...I may appear to be listening, but at the same time, I'm arguing with the person in my heart over the points he/she raised, and really can't wait till they finish so I can raise my own points against them, hihi! should learn to listen without prejudice.
Posted by: anis | Friday, April 02, 2004 at 12:20 PM
I am a lousy listener. I always fall asleep.
Posted by: AR Songkono | Monday, December 10, 2012 at 08:39 PM